Slap​-​Fight At The Coffee Shop

by Crotchthrottle

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released July 30, 2010

Heimeier Axia: vocals, blender, eggplant, tenor guitar; The Wyrre Jimes: bass, electric ukelele, fuzz, reverb, miasma, coffee; Lysander Foley: treble, keyboards, tape manipulation, paranoia, acceptance; Atomsmasher McPhee: drums, muskrats, molerats, texts.

All songs written, recorded, and produced by Crotchthrottle with Jeremy Withers at The Black Hole. Mastered by Bill Paukert at The Screwdio.

Thanks to Melissa Withers, Mark 75oL, Bill Paukert, Ben Carl, Scott Withers,, all Noise Compilation participants, and anyone else foolish enough to have encouraged this music’s existence.



all rights reserved


Crotchthrottle Providence, Rhode Island

Born from the foam atop crashing ocean waves and mysterious vapors seeping up through radioactive craters, Crotchthrottle records fake music composed by fictional people. Live performances are unlikely, but not out of the question, and may in fact be going on right now (behind you). ... more

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Track Name: Manifest Toe
We are the only band to be everything to everyone, and thus nothing to anyone.
We are the first all-Mormon band to preach Pentecostal.
We are the greatest smooth-R&B jazz combo to feature industrial-noise guitar.
We terrorize small communities across America with our iconoclastic vision of conformity.
We are militantly peaceful noise-niks with our fingers on the trigger of the pulse of your generation on the move on the go in action at the front lines undercover forever and ever amen.
We offer nothing but liberation, deliver everything wrapped in a package of capitalist lies that opens up to reveal a void of content, a dearth of information.
We are faceless and anonymous clones who have spent months at the plastic surgeons perfecting our own personal beauty mystique.
You have seen us on television, in magazines, between the lines of supermarket tabloids, within the headlines of the newspapers your grocer uses to wrap fish.
We are integrated and unified in dissonance.
Resistance is more than futile, it is mandatory.
Not only should you hide your daughters, lock up your pets and secure your grandparents, you should convert your stocks into bonds, liquidate your assets and join the revolution, available in the meat and poultry section.
This offer is good for a limited time only, so drive to your nearest department store and ask for the band with the blue Fraudcore label on the spine - the only one you can trust to deceive all the time.